Jealousy (The Good Kind)

Sermon

Father's Day today - MEMES

I remember the exact moment I found out I was going to be a dad.

• Brooke took a pregnancy test, and when she told me the news, I had what I can only describe as a mild nervous breakdown.
• How did I handle it? Like any mature, responsible adult-by shooting the TV with a Nerf blaster for the next 20 minutes.
• Just me, the TV, and my brain flip-flopping between no thoughts at all, and every thought in the world.
• But of course, I HAD to be absolutely sure. So, the next day, we drove to the only doctor available in Newcastle.
• When they confirmed it I naturally called the best source of wisdom and support I could think of… Dad.
• "Dad (VOICEBREAK)"… "I just found out I’m having a baby, and I have NO idea what to do!"
• And this man… this man, who has raised me and guided me through life, had the NERVE to say… "You’ve RUINED my life. I’m too young to be a Granddad!"

We then had a great conversation and I remember him saying the most accurate statement ever… "There's no rulebook, you just have to take it a step at a time"

• I remember walking out of the hospital with my first-born thinking "they're letting me take this child?"
• Firstly, thanks to all the dads.

Secondly, one incredible thing you'll notice throughout the Bible is that God, who could choose to be called anything, has chosen for us to call Him "Father".

• This means that if you're not a dad you have a little idea on what our relationship with God is to look like.
• And… if you ARE a dad, we're provided with an example to imitate.
• Now… I'm not a perfect father, and no one here has a perfect Father… Which is a problem
• Because we have an idea of fatherhood that is not the kind of Father God is.
• He is the Perfect Father.
• with Perfect Love/Mercy/Holiness/Wisdom/Grace
• THAT is an incredible God… And I want to see that in my life also, right?

We all know Oprah Winfrey? She shares the story of how she loved this idea of God, that God is all of these things… Love/Mercy/Grace.

• But in the story I watched she shared how one verse about God, an attribute and a character trait of God, led to her "leaving traditional Christianity".
• What she means by that is that she chose to reject certain teachings found in the Bible because it offended her personally
• The verse is in Exodus 34… And I want to look at this today.
• Not because of Oprah, but because it highlights the heart of Father God so incredibly

So Exodus 34 shows Moses speaking with God.

• In Exodus 20 God has already given Moses the Ten Commandments.
• "You shall have no other Gods before me", "You shall not make any idols", "you shall not serve any other God for I am a jealous God"
• Immediately after this Moses goes back down the mountain and he finds Israel had made a Golden Calf and was bowing down to it.
• Moses is like "Aaron, you were supposed to STOP this from happening"
• Aaron's response was hilarious, he was like "I don't know what happened, we threw gold in the fire and this calf came out"…. And what's even funnier is that Israel named this calf Yahweh, which is God's name.
• As in, this golden calf is the one who set us free from Egypt, and who has been protecting us.

Anyway, we get the Exodus 34, after Israel has already violated God's covenant treaty, and God graciously decides to renew the same covenant.

Exodus 34

• And here we find Oprah's issue… Our God is a JEALOUS God
• Her reasoning in rejecting this is that Jealousy is a sin… All throughout scripture jealousy is portrayed badly… So how can God be Jealous?
• And I'll be honest, it's a challenge as a teacher to get this right because of how nuanced this is, particularly is today's culture.

Chris Smith, a sociologist who focuses on religion, summed up where most people are (particularly younger people are) at when it comes to religious beliefs…

• and he summed it up by calling it Moralistic Therapeutic Deism
• Deism = "there is a God, but He is far off and not connected to my daily life"
• Moralistic Therapeutic = "If I do my part, and live a moralistic life, then it's Gods job to meet my needs"
• "He's not there in every moment of my life but if I believe and I do what I'm meant to do then I'll be blessed"
• This is why the idea of a jealous God is so offensive to Oprah and so many others.

And we can't just say, oh it's a concept in some obscure verse… it's right here in God's original covenant, in the middle of the Ten Commandments

• This is like the core of the Bible, if there is a core.
• And it's not just an old Testament thing, another verse we'll look at is in 1 Corinthians 3 where Paul says to the Corinthian Christians "what are you doing? Are you trying to provoke God's jealousy?"
• The Jealousy of God is something the whole of Scripture teaches.
• The issue is, again, jealousy is often referred to as a sin… except here of course.

One of the tragic stories that highlight this is of Saul & David, you may know it.

• King Saul was eaten up by jealousy over David because David was popular… And it turned Saul into an evil person.
• So the problem with Jealousy in the Bible is similar to the idea of Fear.
• You know, angels show up in the Bible and say "fear not, fear not" but then elsewhere it says there's a kind of fear that is good, the fear of God.
• In the same way, there's a bad jealousy and a good, Godly jealousy.

2 Corinthians 11

• Paul knows its not the normal jealousy, so he terms it a divine, a GODLY jealousy

So what's the difference?

• Normal Jealousy is what you see in Saul… It's basically envy
• So here's King Saul, who the people love, and then this young champion comes along, slays Goliath the giant, he becomes a great general, and he's also the poet.
• It's like Snow White and the evil queen… The Queen was the most beautiful but then there's an even prettier person… but it's a guy… strong, perfect jaw line, smart, abs, named Henry Cavill… The pinnacle of manhood.
• It get's bad when they have this parade and Saul hears the people saying "Saul has slain his thousands but David, his ten thousands" (1 Sam 18)
• Saul realised that David was taking the love of his people away from him.
• And he became filled with ANGER… he was angry at the people, he was angry at David and he envied him. He wanted David's influence, his attractiveness, his ability.
• And it turned him into an evil, murderous man.

Why? Because envious love is basically selfish, it's about you, it starts as "I've lost love" but it ends in destructive anger.

• It's about your ego… it's about your hurt pride.
• And so love gets replaced by anger… and you can end up even attacking the person you once loved because you're so angry at them.
• I mean how many comedians, artists, music writers have become famous because they rip on their "Exes" who they once loved??

But a Godly jealousy is different…

2 Corinthians 11

• Paul is not being kind in this verse.
• He's being sarcastic… He's angry.
• His love for them is angered love… And this is the hard part to articulate.

But parents… you understand

• Paul's angry with them… like "what are you doing guys? Why are you going this way? why are you making those decisions… I do not want to let you live this way, it's not good for you."
• His love is an angered love but its Godly because it STAYS Love.

Godly jealousy is Angered Love that STAYS love.

It's not about you and your hurt pride, its about the loss of the relationship

• Or to put it another way, Godly love is love fighting death.
• Normal jealousy is love that has died because of self-centredness, because of pride.
• My pride prevents me from showing love because I resent them, I envy their achievement, what they have.
• But Godly jealousy is Angered Love that stays love.
• It wars for relationship, it's fights to prevent resentment, envy, or the death of a relationship.

In the ancient times, everyone had multiple Gods

Exodus 34

• So you had to deal with multiple Gods… The god of harvest, of fertility, of rain…. and you needed to keep them all happy.
• And so Pagan religion back then was a lot like modern politics… Always making little compromises, trying to never offend anyone, keep everyone happy
• God comes along and says "No"
• "If you're going to relate to me it'll be less like politics and more like a marriage"
• For God to say "I'm a Jealous God" it's to say "I don't want you to treat me like you treat other Gods, I want your exclusive commitment…"
• "I want to be at the centre of your life and I want it to be a loving relationship… therefore, relating to me is more like a marriage"

Back then… that was crazy… Everyone followed multiple Gods… exclusive commitment was wildly unique

• The same today…. There's alot of people who believe in God, but it's Moralistic Therapeutic Diesm
• "I believe in God, I know He's around, I ask Him for things & I assume He wants to just meet my needs"
• How vague.
• CS Lewis in "The Problem of Pain" says:

"We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven - a senile benevolence who, as they say, ‘liked to see young people enjoying themselves,’ and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, ‘a good time was had by all."

• Now, not calling my dad or in-laws senile… but this is so true… When my girls are at their grandparents, they get spoiled… And it's great
• Parent's are so demanding of their kids "don't do that, dont do that" but give the kid to their granddad? The granddad just wants the kid to like him. "Do what you want"
• It's easier to view God as that kind of relationship, here we go kiddies… But He calls himself Father.
• A God who just wishes you well and wants the best for you no matter what… That's not a Jealous God… A jealous God wants a relationship with you that is exclusive.

This is the reason why Paul uses marriage to describe this… The closest relationship we have to what God's love is like is marriage

2 Corinthians 11

• The rules to a deep, Godly, faith are the same rules to a great marriage.
• "Since I betrothed you to one husband"… I know it's weird for the guys that as the church we are like the bride of Christ here but bear with me.
• We'd all agree that one great rule for a marriage is Priority.
• When you marry someone, you are choosing to prioritise them over others. When there is an opportunity that is in conflict with your spouse, you reject that opportunity because you have chosen to prioritise them.
• This isn't like the modern idea of "open relationships"… "I betrothed you to ONE husband"
• "To present you as a pure virgin to Christ" - The easiest way to kill a marriage? Have an affair.
• If priority is a great rule, Fidelity is another.
• To remain faithful to the same person… To give them the benefit of the doubt and stay loyal regardless.
• The most important theological point about marriage I always talk about in pre-marriage counselling is that Marriage is a covenant.
• What God binds together, let no man separate… stay faithful.

2 Corinthians 11

• Another great rule for marriage… intimacy… pure devotion
• This is more than an agreement, more than a friendship…
• I am known by my wife to the very core, and I know my wife to the very core.

A Godly Jealousy is an Angered Love that fights the death of priority, fidelity, an intimacy.

• If I haven't said it clear enough…
• You wouldn't want your spouse to place you as last priority in your life.
• You wouldn't want your spouse to have an affair and commit infidelity.
• You wouldn't want your spouse to remain closed off to all intimacy.
• You would fight for your relationship… It would anger you that something would try to kill that relationship… For the LOVE of that relationship, you would fight.
• THAT is same Jealousy God has for you.

And, side note… Father's, can I give encouragement, even permission, for you to be Jealous for your kids.

• Our society seeks to keep men passive. When a man fights for something, He often gets labelled as toxic masculinity or sexist.
• And so there's so many guys who have just stayed passive… Maybe they think it's easier to keep the peace, maybe they think they're just not wanted.
• Guys need purpose, we need achievement, to work on something, we need to be wanted… This is why gaming, porn, and escapism is so prevalent.
• But especially when it comes to kids, you standing up for them is never wasted.
• Be jealous of what occupies them… Be jealous when your kids start to be swayed by ungodly beliefs, actions, friends.
• "As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord"
• And I will be Jealous about anything that seeks to change that.
• I will have an angered Love that fights aggressively against anything that will try to pull my kids away.
• Fight for discipling your kids, fight for teaching them to pray about everything, fight for reading and teaching Scripture to them, fight for them to love Christ's church.

In the same way, and even greater, God is fighting that fight for you.

• When I drift in my faith, when I drift in my devotion… He is angered.
• Not AT us, but FOR us… Just as my wife would be angry if she wasn't my priority.
• He doesn't angrily reject the relationship, He doesn't withhold His love or blessing or grace.
• But He IS jealous because He wants our WHOLE heart.
• See how this can be tricky? Don't think that you're works, your actions/inaction will somehow cause God to love you less… His love for you is not dependent on your works.
• But He wants all of me, and it grieves Him when I withhold or deprioritise Him.

CS Lewis puts all of this better than I ever could in the "Problem of Pain"

You asked for a loving God: you have one… not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist’s love for his work… provident and venerable as a father’s love for a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes. How this should be, I do not know: it passes reason to explain why any creatures, not to say creatures such as we, should have a value so prodigious in their Creator’s eyes.

If I fall in love with a woman, do I cease to care whether she is fair or foul? Do I not rather then first begin to care?… Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease willing their removal. Love is more sensitive than hatred itself to every blemish in the beloved… Of all powers he forgives most; but he condones least: [Love] is pleased with little, but demands all.

The Father's heart is one that is Jealous for their children.

• Not a selfish, prideful Jealousy that is envious of others.
• But a Godly jealously that produces an Angered Love that remains Love.
• An anger that seek to fight for Love, for the relationship.
• What an incredible example for Fatherhood… But also, what an incredible example of God's love for you and me.

PRAY

• Thank you for Love… A love that wants all of me.
• If there is anything in us that is the target of your jealousy, reveal it to us now so that we can turn from those things.
• May be an idol (something elevated above God), might just be a priority problem of our time or attention…. Choose to repent

🧠 Brain Dump

Story of calling Dad when we found out we were pregnant.

• Changes your world - selfishness, purpose, protection

Father God - attributes

• Jealous God - Oprah Winfrey's reason to "leave traditional Christianity"

Exodus 34

2 Corinthians 11

• Angered Love

Points to cover:

• God is JEALOUS for you - He LOVES you and He WANTS you - This is the Father's Heart
• Fathers - BE jealous for your kids, for your wife - be jealous of the ideologies and addictions of the world, stand up for your kids to follow Christ.