Youth Group Connect - Turn the Other Cheek
Context for Verse
- "An eye for an eye" comes from Exodus 21. It stopped a lost tooth turning into a family blood feud, and it was written for judges, not for victims.
- By Jesus' day people were quoting it as personal permission to get even.
- Roman soldiers could legally force a civilian to carry their gear for a mile, and everybody listening had felt that humiliation.
- In all three examples the person does something extra instead of swinging back or shrinking away. They stay standing there as somebody still making choices.
- The tension: does following Jesus mean you have to absorb whatever anybody does to you?
Verse
38. "You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.'
39. But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.
40. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too.
41. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles.
42. Give to those who ask, and don't turn away from those who want to borrow."
Questions
Pick 3 or 4. Spend the most time on Q2 and Q4. Read the leader's notes before you run Q4.
Q1. "An eye for an eye" sounds brutal, but it was written to stop revenge escalating. Does knowing that change how you hear what Jesus says next?
Q2. In all three examples the person does something extra instead of hitting back or backing off. What is the difference between that and simply letting somebody walk all over you?
Q3. Getting even feels good. What does Jesus think you actually lose by taking it?
Q4. Verse 39 says don't resist an evil person. Does that mean a Christian never stands up to anything, and where do you reckon the limits are?
Q5. Think of the person who most gets under your skin (don't name them). Name one specific thing you could do this week that is neither revenge nor disappearing.
Pray
- Pray for the people named in Q5, including the ones nobody would name out loud
- Pray for the self-control to hand the getting-even over to God instead of carrying it all week
This passage has been used to tell people who are being abused to stay put and take it. That is a misuse of the text. Jesus is talking about personal insult and personal loss of face. He's not talking about violence at home, or bullying that should be reported, or abuse of any kind.
You need to make that clear (if something comes up, remember mandatory reporting).
The heart of the passage is refusing revenge without getting walked over. Jesus isn't passive in any of the three scenes, because each answer takes the situation somewhere the other person did not plan for.
Don't drift into promising that the bully will end up respecting them, because nothing here guarantees that.
This is the third week where Jesus makes the standard harder rather than easier. Again, this sermon isn't a test you have to pass, it's a description of the kingdom you have already been let into.
Does this mean Christians can't defend themselves or anybody else? No, because Jesus is talking about personal payback rather than protection, and Romans 13 gives the authorities a real role in holding back evil.
So should I just let people bully me? No, you should report it, because Jesus isnt describing how to handle abuse.
Didn't Jesus push back when he was slapped? Yes. In John 18:22-23 he questions the man who hit him instead of swinging, and that is what this looks like in practice.
Is it wrong to want justice? No, but you're trusting to God to sort it out rather than dropping the matter (Romans 12:19).
What if I do this and nothing changes? Nothing here promises it will. Faithfulness is not measured by whether the other person improves.
Do I have to give money to anybody who asks? Verse 42 is about open-handed generosity rather than being naive, and Scripture also expects wisdom about how you give.
The pacifism, war and self-defence debate: A genuine argument but it will eat all fifteen minutes. Park it.
"But what if somebody broke into your house?" Usually a way of dodging the application. Redirect to Q5 and somebody real.